Thursday, September 28, 2006

because of you

because today i thought about you my dear boys. today i thought about how strong you are!

...because you had hearts of gold
....because you took the "wild west skit show" class i taught
....because you had laughs
....because you could run so fast, i could barely keep up
....because justin was your superhero
....because even though you didn't like to be hugged by girls, you let me hug you
...because you knew so much about life and catepillars
...because we tried to fish in the mud
...because of you im stronger.
(cancer survivors, new mexico, 2005)

Monday, September 25, 2006

The 15 year old girl and Piano Man

I found myself next to a piano Sunday afternoon in this large 3.1 million dollar home. And I was singing. Somehow this Piano Man had whisked me back to this place, a place filled with music, and good friends, and a place where I was that 15 again. I was the little girl who turned Frank Sinatra on at age 11, and had my own personal performances from the ledge of the family room which included dancing and singing and an audience of stuffed animals (elephants and bears). As I got older I'd sing on real stages, in front of real audiences, from Hello Dolly to Les Mesirables. And I've loved every minute of it.

Now that I'm 23 (well almost) I can be found dancing around the townhouse, trying to twirl my boyfriend in the kitchen, and singing frequently in the car with the windows down. (FL needs more of me and my happy music making)

But yeah, Piano Man was so amazing -from Elton John to The Eagles. He really rocked the place out.

I was so happy to be making music again. And I can assure you, this won't be the last of it...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Happy List

1. Having a washer/dryer in your unit...warm towels out of the dryer (mmmm)

2. Children and the love and laughter they bring to life. I like kid watching.

3. Giggling.

4. Chat w/ best girlfriends about silly twin dogs.

5. Cooking for people you love, it just feels good.

6. Smile wrinkles I'll have

7. Surprises. Both the doing and the receiving.

8. Letters from Oma & Opa. (6 pages long!)

9. Knowing you can call someone after midnight, and they won't yell at ya.

10. High speed internet, and working from bed.

11. Long hair and easily sweeping it into a ponytail! So good on busy nice.

12. Getting dressed up for special occasions. I like to wear those cute, sexy dresses in my closet now and then.

13. Butterflies in the stomach and still getting nervous even though you've known the guy for awhile.

14. Music - the blues for the rainy days, the country for the ol heart and soul, and sinatra for dancing in the kitchen.

15. The smell of lilacs.

16. All the 'little' things in life. And how I could go on and on. Just like this.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Steady at the Wheel

I reviewed John Mayer's latest album, Continuum this morning over my tea and GMAT readings. I was generally unimpressed with it. He's got great guitar skills, but this album seems to revert back to his usual style. I'll have to listen to it some more to give a full report. Lots of heartbreak and rehatching the dream in the lyrics, and they threw in some classic John Mayer Trio songs to spice it up. Overall it's lacking the bluesy feeling and growth that I was hoping he'd showcase.

Tonight marks the first GMAT class, and with that I am officially (ive been doing it somewhat for about 2 weeks now) going to begin my Marie Antoinette regim of running, eating healthy, and totally loving math, also seeing being queen as my destiny.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Girl Seeking Lakes

[…] I came across this fantastic essay titled Climbing Mountains or Looking for Lakes that resonated with me quite a bit: I’m a lake seeker, not a mountain climber. I’m looking for beauty and satisfaction, not prestige and achievement. It’s the same in all aspects of my life, like blogging. I blog for expression, connection, and conversation, not to break into the Technorati Top 100 and not to make money. I don’t look at my hit counts or subscriber numbers, except when I can’t avoid them or when I just can’t help myself. It’s not that I’m not competitive and it’s not that those things aren’t important and useful in some contexts. It’s that I’m temperamentally wired to look for what’s beautiful, peaceful, and comforting in the world. Paying attention to that other stuff makes me unhappy. […]

This says it all.

Season of Change

I have been on a journey, most of it not measured in miles.

It started out with a plane ride into Atlanta, Georgia that got me onto the next plane to Knoxville, Tennessee. My first encounter with a true Knoxvillian that set next to me was very cool. Sitting down, he put up the arm rest that went between our two seats. Finally engaging in conversation after laughing together as we saw baggage being thrown into the bottom of the plane, I learned that he was working down in New Orleans. Revamping the city and overseeing the operations emergency relief effort, he had been away from home and his family for 8 months. Over casual conversation I realized this was the type of people I longed for in South Florida, this was the type of person I could pass in church on Sunday. Something felt right.

My next few days were filled with laughter, good food/drinks, warm moments, and listening. One afternoon we sat on the couch reading the newspaper and watching the news. Turning off the tv and thinking about the future, I turned and put my head on his chest and felt tears stream down onto his shirt. He held me closer and slowed my beating heart. We made peace with all the things that had troubled and excited and agitated us so far on this journey: the way life is a give and a take and a long term investment, and yes you can grow together. The truth is that as you begin to let someone grow closer to you, and you closer to them, you get the chance to learn to be more authentic everyday. What a great gift. The honesty and respect are so much better then the cutsy couple any day.

Those few days there with him gave brought a newfound depth to our relationship. (kisses aren't bad either) I mean, of course I miss him, but I also know that I'm so blessed to have someone like him in my everyday life.