Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
A new beginning
Of another chapter in our favorite book.
So hard to imagine 12 more months gone by
But if a ruler were to measure
From 4cm to 12 inches
This close went to thisclose.
And now your hand almost part of my own geography.
Watched you grow, watched us grow
A better man and a better woman.
How does this happen?
Silly question; we walk together.
So excited about the future,
Because I think it rare to feel and know this love
Every single day of 12 months.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Funny thing is, for the past few years, beginning junior year of college, life has seemed somewhat of a consistent game of chess. The planning ahead, the goal setting, the strategizing so that when I make the next move it's the best. Some people think I seem to go with what's in front of me, others see the opposite - and that I've been on a brief tour of the east coast lately and wonder how I can possibly live so far from my family and be so aggressive. But honestly, I don't really care what others think, and am happy with what experiences I've had, where I am, and where I'm going.
What I am noticing is that I'm ready to plant some roots and really invest myself fully into one place, and not have to think about moving for at least two years. I'm just starting to create solid relationships here, know the ins and outs of the little hole in the wall places I like, and feel comfortable. This is part of what's driving me to finish up graduate school by the end of next July. I don't want to be a transient anymore, and really need to finally figure out what state I live in. Ha. Plus the fact that many other factors are lining up, and that I actually enjoy taking 4 classes as opposed to 3. I don't have the energy, no less the navigation skills to continue to master new cities every other year. No joke.
I know I have many tools that I need hanging on my current toolbelt, and need to finish gathering some more here in DC so that I can really build that quality foundation that I want.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
If you go to this web site, LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them.
I would like to say thank you to Megan from the Virgin Islands and Matthew from Tennessee for their postcards. I read them aloud to my section and everyone was happy to get the support from back home. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to do a little for us. Thanks again and we will be seeing you back at home in a few months.
An Air Force sergeant
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
After getting in my office, I took off my jacket, and lightly dusted the snowflakes off my hair. I was so happy to be back up north - rosy cheeks and all.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
These are our daily choices. These words and actions that we choose can bring us one step closer to the peace that this season stands for. Just one word or gesture. It's your choice. But before we can even begin to look at others, I will first examine myself. So let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now. With every step I take may this be my solomon vow.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Every year around this time my Uncle Mark drives over with his big truck, picks everyone up for breakfast, and then we head out to Christmas Tree Hunt. It's the job of all of the cousins to pick out the best Christmas Tree for Oma & Opa and deliver it to them. Well if it isn't Santa's little helpers themselves...
Have you been naughty or nice??All the trees piled up on the truck ready to be delivered to all our families and Oma.
Friday, November 23, 2007
I'd be fooling someone if I said I loved winter. The first snowfall is always magical, but the unyieldly wind and rushing to and from is tiresome on my body. It's hard to believe it has been nearly two years since I've traveled wintery streets filled with the sounds of snowplows and the smell of salt. But I still find myself eager to haul out a sled and a shovel. Last year it was fall and the beginning of winter that brought out some of the sharpest of edges last year, now it's like riding a horse you had been bucked off of before as you slip back into the cold mornings and grey skies that greet the sun for a few hours. Last year at this time was when it felt like my relationship with C was imploding, as it underwent the fierce growth of a relationship that was moving past a life hurt.
If you sift back through moments and memories you can count how many times conversations may have gone amiss. We can all reaccount times when two people were talking but they were talking about two different things. This happened last winter, with the fine brush strokes of different agendas and feelings and work being done. There's no use in trying to figure out what the reason for the pain was or why. Almost all of it was a product of external stresses: from work and life, that had become distilled in the small orbit of our love, although some was internal - new dreams being realized, a heart casualty, sleep deprivation, and a lack of time to ourselves.
So the trepidation is there. Only faintly visible in my pulse. Little snafus, a snag, it bears an undue weight even though we are so far from there; our love more like an aging merlot becoming integrated, refined, and full of rich spices and aroma.
Seasons are funny like this in their ability to conjure up accounts of change and growth, and reflect pivotal moments in life when unsteady ground turned into a rock foundation. Last season was marked with an angst, but a hope and steady drive toward betterment, and I am thrilled to no end to say that this season the angst has been bucked and that an effervescent confidence is flooding all branches of life.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Prelude: My sister is completing a photography project for college and the theme is "Family Feet." You'll quickly see below what makes my family so special and unique - they are always game for helping someone out...it makes it so easy to love them. (One of my uncle's volunteering).
The greatest dog ever. Sam, after Uncle Sam, since they got him near the 4th of July. We just naturally look good together. It's a yellow lab thing.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Got a chord! Jam time! (I did try to sing while playing 2 chords in a row...yeah. Ha.)
Monday, November 19, 2007
I went onto the internet when I got into the office to check out this text messaging the troops a bit further and to make sure it was legitamate. And sure enough it was. I was happy to see that a student at Chapman University organized the texting after her brother was shortly shipped out. Check out Texting Thank You - Sending Thanks to Troops and let them know you are thankful for them this Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
We were in awe of Evans' animated playing and passion put into every note. In addition to a fantastic performance, we followed the concert with an amazing dinner at Filomena's Ristorante in Georgetown. This is one of the Boy's top restaurants in DC. Honoring an upcoming birthday of mine, we started the evening at Mr. Smith's piano bar around the corner until our table was ready. Beginning with delectable calamari that melted our mouths, we dined upon the best Italian lasagna and smoked chicken ravioli ever created. At the end of our courses, we made the decision to not resist dessert. A two page menu of the photographed homemade desserts made this pretty easy. Tempting our palettes with cheesecake and raspberry mouse` we toasted the night with the restaurant's signature Peppermint Schnapps and 3 coffee beans: 1 for health, 1 for luck, and 1 for love. Okay, and maybe a few kisses.
This was an amazing evening, and only the start of our weekend. Great music, great food, and the best company ever. Many thanks to the Boy for such a special night!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
...thankful for having a strong shoulder to cry on. For the steadyness & strength. And for the willingness to always dream with me, however wild me ideas may be. For the ability to wrap me in kind words even after reluctance to say goodnight, with the distance still hanging in the air, but because of him feels so much less.
Monday, November 12, 2007
While others may be considering where to go to eat after work I can usually be found at my desk in the office, preparing for another night's worth of classes. I've traded the drinks in (as if I ever really liked beer..haha) for a cup of tea or diet coke and when daring a coffee. I like reading the Wall Street Journal, and trying to work all the new vocab words from my studies into my daily existence.
And it's through my interests, hobbies, and decisions that make it really interesting to navigate this so called phase of life. Many of those who are my age seem to be doing quite different things, or yet almost speaking different languages. Okay, so maybe not everyone. But, somehow talking about personal intimacies or the latest star gossip doesn't put my engine in first.
But while I may be making less then a handful of good friends out here, and battling the occasional awkward conversation and getting weird looks because yes it's a Friday night and I am staying in - because a) I'm either exhausted or b) need to work on some things, it makes me really appreciate those who I keep close to me in my life - namely a Boy that I seem to find more complimentary to who I am everyday.
Friday, November 09, 2007
And here she is. If you look hard enough you may spot a pair of the famous granny shoes. Work wouldn't be as good without em'
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
- Supportive Leadership - the guide, coach, cheerleader
- Directive Leadership - telling what is to be done and at what time
- Participative Leadership - taking others opinion and using it to help make the decision
- Achievement-oriented Leadership - setting standards for both work and self improvement
Weaknesses I Found:
- Assumes leader knows what situation is appropriate for each leadership style
- Assumes leader can easily adapt and adjust to be a different leadership style
- Assumes that only a leader can see the correct path to reach the goal and the follower cannot
- Assumes there is only one correct way to reach a certain goal
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
"Hi M" he said. He told me he was downstairs in the lobby of the building waiting for me. I told him I'd be five minutes and he said that was fine. Excited, nervous, and anxious feelings flooded me all at once. It was hard to pick and choose, so I let the feelings wash over me like waves as I descended the stairs to meet him.
I saw him right away from the side. He was standing in the middle of the lobby in his nice navy blue suit, with a baby blue shirt and lightly striped tie on. His hair was the same salty gray color. Dad I yelled. Hi! He turned and opened his arms wide to give me a hug. His tall stature enveloped me completely. For a second I felt myself melting into his shoulder, like a child again being held. We exchanged hellos and how are yous and he helped me finish up a few work things and carry some items in prep for the next event over to the other building.
It was so great to look into his eyes and see the Dad I remembered from all of the happy moments. There wasn't that sadness there filling the dark brown of his eyes anymore, but instead a bright reflection of the man I knew existed all along. He told me how proud of me he was, how grown up and beautiful and smart I am. And I the same. How proud of him I was and so glad he took the time to see me.
It was a reunion of more then just a father and his daughter. It was a reunion of two hearts. It was a letting go of something old and a receiving of something new and so much better. We put the past aside to see each other in the present. I won't forget the feeling of knowing that just downstairs my dad was waiting for me. And that he came to see me. This visit was very special and one that will stay with me for a very, very long time.
I look forward to the next time I get to see him again.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
I'll be having lunch with Him tomorrow. I've choosen a Thai resturant so at least my favorite food can be a comforting companion. I'm looking forward to the meeting, this time meeting Him even more as a woman then before. Perhaps we can begin to retie the knot that had sheared and frayed over the past years, and make a newer, stronger one.
So as winter comes with the crisp winds and colder mornings, I welcome it and say see my heart, it's very warm. And if I get a pair of footie pajamas, my feet will be too!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Because we are always having new experiences--and can internalize these--we are always, to some degree, remaking who we are.
Every activity we engage in provides us with feedback about ourselves: our abilities, how we're perceived by others, our character. In selecting what we do, who we do it with, and how we do it, we can structure our experience to create mirrors of success and mastery.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Time is a friend though. And while we all have boxes of notes hidden away somewhere, guarding old memories, many of mine camp out right there in my inbox. So instead of rummaging through what would have once been someone's box of memories, made up of cards, notes, letters, and black and white photographs, I can open up my gmail account to account for what traces I have of my story. It was the pristine garden, with the lovely couple in it that got me thinking about all that had come about over the past year, in every facet of life. Got me thinking that even though some parts of the story have jagged edges and sharp points at times, it's somewhat comforting to know that part of the human story is the struggle, and part of the human beauty is the triumph.
Before I get too caught up in nostalgia, I'm reminded of what time it is again, as the contrast of my bright screen to my dark room signals to me that sleep must be near. But there's something to be said about these new boxes of notes. That at the click of a button I can remember and recall all the correspondance I sent forth that asked for help, or wished a friend a good day, or let a loved one know I cared. It's really wonderful to be able to recall this, but even more remarkable to be reminded of the response. Gnight'
The Very Official Seal (isn't he so handsome).
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Along with channel surfing, I surfed my own thoughts a bit. Taking record and checking in with myself. I've had some things on my mind - and good things. Most recently, I've really been a) learning a lot thanks to grad. school and b) thinking more and more about my focus for life. Ever since I was little I've wanted to be a professor - but along with that comes time and more time. So I have to evaluate if this is what I really want, what it's going to require, and where it will put me.
The positives are that the program will be fully funded and paid for if I get in. How great would that be! Bottom line is I really want to teach college level coursework. It's so much more stimulating then high school curriculum, and you have more time and less boundaries to delve in deeper into the real meat of the topic. I love people, love connecting, and love sharing knowledge and getting people to see things from new perspectives. And second, the actual Ph.D. is in something that is rather a rare specialty. Cool. (As you can see I'm not yet ready to reveal all details yet). I still have a bunch of charting and mapping and munching to do on this.
But what's the most exciting is knowing that this opportunity exists, and is available to me if I want it.
P.S. Great sentence I read recently: "Venice is spooky under its grainy November skies. The city creaks and sways like a fishing pier."
I love me some good writing'
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Have a great day~
Monday, October 08, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
ah. to be spoken to in so many ways; it's like meeting yourself on a different plane.
What do you really, really, really want?
I want to be a woman of God. A woman of grace and strength at the same time. To learn, and seek, and to be a woman of faith and values.
I want to put something beautiful forth in the world each and everyday for the rest of my life. Whether through a small gesture of a smile or holding the door open for an elderly woman, or within my profession - going against the odds to bring change.
I want to create. I want to create new things, systems, structures, and ideas. I want to create in my profession. To speak in front of people, to motivate, inspire, and bring forth new life. I want to learn always. To be open, to meet new people, to mentor and to be mentored.
I want to have a family. I want to raise children in good values, and create a safe, encouraging, and loving environment for them to grow and learn. I want to be a good mother, a great example of strength and faith, and enjoy all that is the miracle in raising children.
I want to be a good wife. To encourage, challenge, and support my partner. I want to play and learn together. I want to dare, risk, and dream to make a great life. I want to be strong in faith together - to raise each other up to our higher selves. I want to be the strong one, when he can't be. I want to be patient, and kind, and loving. I want to be a couple of significance, not just success. That as a couple, when we are together our goodness is even stronger and our ability to bring greatness even brighter.
Happiest moment of the day:
Being told I love you more times then I can count on two hands - and then laughing, laughing about Schitzous and diamond collars.
Focusing on the great work I get to do right now and the harvest I am sowing. Great blessings of family, friends, health, and a creative mind. Great love.
...people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descent upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, you strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight in its good attainments.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
It's been nights of hardships and tears have been shed. There were days of building strength, but still times I knew I'd cry and collapse at night again. I dare even say my heart was broken a few times.
But to have been able to lay down that night and another and another, to meet my God, and to have the tears and the heavyness in my chest lifted is to know peace.
And now I sleep, and my heart is warm, and not by anything that is of this world.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
- They do work by organizing attention, practically and politically, not only to the facts at hand but to why the facts at hand matter.
- Are selective organizers of attention to real possibilities of action
- They are actually pragmatic critics who must make selective arguments and therefore influence what other people learn about
- What gets done depends heavily on what gets said, and how it is said, and to whom
Monday, September 24, 2007
If you call a dog's tail a leg, how many legs does it have? The answer is four. You can call a tail a leg, but that doesn't make it a leg. Similarly, you can call a case study, with thick description, of a school in your own culture an ethnography, but that does not make it an ethnography.
- Joseph Tobin
I think Tobin has a good point that we can apply in general. Just because someone claims to "own" something, doesn't mean it's fact. Always question, that's the art of learning.