Saturday, May 19, 2007

Spiritual Cowgirl



I overwhelmed myself for a brief moment today, when I looked around my room and saw suitcases, boxes, and random items set against the wall opposite of my bed. I asked myself how this would all fit into my car, how I could possibly drive 15+ hours and move into a place I've never set foot into yet. How could I move this stuff all by myself....


But then reality kicked me in the butt. I've done so much already to prepare for this move, between lining up the moving people on my own, getting the storage unit, researching and looking for the right apt/neighborhood, and of course finding the program that fit me perfectly. Although being buff will help with the picking up and placing items in the trunk thing.


It's just funny sometimes how I can go from looking at myself in the mirror, and saying, "Wow you are one independent woman...making the drive and move to DC all by yourself! Go girl..." to the same voice saying...yeah how are you going to do that. Then I kick myself in the butt again, and, suddenly come back to reality fast, mostly cause I don't want to have to kick myself again.


I've realized part of change and moving and growth is the little pre-jitterbugs. It's the energy you need to get yourself to that next level. So instead of thinking of it as anxiety, it's really just my brain kicking in and letting me know I have the energy, stamina, and momentum to take the horse by the reigns. The difference between who I am now and who I was before is that the horses used to be galloping all at once all over the place, but now I have my trusty steed, and I'm pointing him in the direction where we need to go.
PS - I do admit I'll be smiling as I pull away. And I just may give my horse some whiskey at the end of the ride;)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The men get whiskey and the horses get beer... but I definately applaud the effort for using some country philosophy.

Your going to do great! Life is a series of adventures and you are ready to tackle this next adventure.